When the material consciousness
understands something of the true working,
it knows it a hundred times better
than we can know it mentally.
When the body is subject to rules, even if they are broad and comprehensive, it is a slave to these rules and its possibilities are limited accordingly. But when it is governed by Spirit and Consciousness, this gives the body unparalleled possibility and flexibility! And that's how it will acquire the ability to extend its life by replacing the mental, intellectual government by the government of Spirit and Consciousness.
This is my experience.
My body no longer obeys the mind or the intelligence at all. It doesn't even understand how that has been possible. Now, more and more, it follows the direction and impulsion of Consciousness.
However, every time the rule or domination of Nature's ordinary laws is being replaced, at one point or another, by the authority of the Divine Consciousness, there is a moment of transition with all the appearances of a great disruption and danger for the body. And when the body doesn't know, it gets panic-stricken, thinking it's a serious illness. Sometimes, with the help of imagination, it can even result in an illness. Yet, originally, it was the withdrawal of Nature's ordinary law with its adjunct of personal vital and mental law.
On the contrary, if the body remains calm and has trust and faith, then all goes well and the difficulty soon passes. But for the body to know automatically and spontaneously, a large part of its elements must already be conscious and transformed.
It's like a progressive victory over all constraints. All the laws of Nature, all the human laws, all the habits, all the rules become increasingly supple and finally nonexistent. In terms of hygiene and health, organization, relations with others, everything has not only lost its aggressiveness, but also its sense of absolutism and compulsory character.
As this process grows more and more perfect meaning, totally integral, leaving nothing behind it necessarily, inevitably leads to a victory over death. Not that the dissolution of the cells, which death entails, would cease to exist entirely, but it would exist only when necessary not as an absolute law, but as one of the means, when necessary.
It is mainly everything that the Mind has brought in terms of rigidity, absoluteness and near invincibility that is going to disappear simply by handing the supreme power over to the supreme Consciousness.
Yes, the movement is to let oneself melt entirely.
The result is the abolition of the ego, which is an unknown state, or "physically unrealized," because all those who sought Nirvana did so by giving up their body. On the contrary, in our work the body, the material substance will be capable of melting, thus doing away with all the ego's disadvantages, while retaining the principle of individualization.
This is the present attempt.
How to keep the form without the ego's presence is the challenge. And that's what's taking place little by little. Each element is taken up, then transformed. The marvel (for the ordinary consciousness, it's a miracle) is to keep the form while completely losing the ego.
It's easier to understand in the case of the vital and the mind (for most people it's very difficult, but those who are ready will understand easily, and the process itself can be fairly swift). But here, how can this body not dissolve in the movement of fusion?
Well, that's precisely the experience.
There is a movement of patience, a movement issuing from the deepest essence of compassion, whose purpose is to help attain the maximum result with the minimum waste. In other words, it's going as fast as possible, and the delays are caused only by the need to work on different elements.
That is the interesting process going on at present.
At times, it feels as if everything were becoming completely disorganized, on the verge of collapse. At the beginning, the physical consciousness wasn't sufficiently enlightened and whenever these inner tests occurred, it would feel, "Ah, this must be a death warning." But gradually came the knowledge that it wasn't that at all, but only the inner test to become capable of identification. And then came the clear vision that, on the contrary, if this very special kind of plasticity, this extraordinary suppleness is realized, it will naturally lead to the abolition of the necessity of death.
Basically, once the veneer of good manners is removed, human beings admit the existence of the Divine on the sole condition that He satisfy all their needs and desires. They may be collective, even "planetary" desires, but that's what it boils down to.
This notion is particularly obvious when the Divine takes on a body. They found it quite natural that Christ should be crucified for their own salvation.
I've always found this monstrous.
Here in India, with the notion of a Guru or an Avatar, they may recognize him, admit him, but he is there exclusively to satisfy all demands not just because he takes on a human body, but because he is the representative of the supreme Power. They accept the supreme Power, they pretend to obey and surrender to it, but at the back of their mind: "He is here only to satisfy my desires."
The type of desires depends on the individual: For some, it's the most petty personal desires; for others it's great desires involving all humanity, or even greater realizations. But they all amount to the same thing.
That seems to be the general condition of surrender.
This condition is so strong and prevalent that if anyone dared to claim that the world and all creation exist for the Divine's satisfaction, there would immediately arise a violent protest and people would say, "Why, this Divine is a monster! A monster of egoism" without noticing that they are exactly like that.
To emerge from this condition, one must emerge from the human consciousness altogether, that is, from the active, acting consciousness.
What I mean is that even if one were to broaden almost to infinity the human consciousness, it would amount to nothing. One must go beyond it, in the sense that this notion of egoism, in fact, still wholly belongs to humanity.
Indeed, every human being spontaneously and naturally puts himself in the center of everything and organizes the world around him. Thus, for him, the Divine also puts Himself in the center and organizes the world in the same way.
Recently, for maybe a few hours, the consciousness was reversed, as it were. There was no longer any sense of a center around which everything is organized; that is to say, the divine Consciousness wasn't a central consciousness with everything revolving around it! It was something extraordinarily simple and at the same time extraordinarily complex.
Even the possibility of division no longer existed.
It felt like a unity, a unity made of innumerable billions bright dots. A single consciousness made of innumerable bright dots conscious of themselves.
Yet it did not feel like the sum of all these dots. It was not a sum, but a unity an innumerable unity.
The very fact of using words makes it sound stupid. Our language is totally inapt.
[After another long, arduous physical test.]
One day, suddenly, a strong dissatisfaction bordering on disgust came over this body a complete dissatisfaction of its attitude and of all its movements, its consciousness, everything. It obviously corresponded to a movement of transformation coming over it.
And then there was a general collapse.
So, very spontaneously, with all the sincerity it's capable of, it gave itself to the transformation: "Either transformation or death."
Things appear to have taken an accelerated turn.
All the old energy that came, in fact, from the ego, from the sense of the person, had gone. The material result was that the pulse started to behave more than erratically.
But the body is spontaneously and constantly invoking, invoking, invoking.
Only, this is still the phase when it hurts all over. Everything is miserable everywhere. There's a sort of sense of wonder, but absolutely no strength.
I am sure the Movement has begun.
It would appear to be the onrush of the new species, the new creation, or at any rate a new creation. How long will it take to emerge as a concrete, visible and organized realization? I don't know.
A terrestrial reorganization and a new creation.
For me, things had become very critical. I had become incapable of uttering a single word. The moment I spoke, I would start coughing and coughing. Then I saw it was decided I shouldn't speak. So I didn't move and let things happen.
Later, I understood.
Usually, I don't lose patience, but it had reached the point where everything in the being was annulled, so to speak. Not only could I not speak, but my head was in pain like never before in my whole existence. I couldn't see anything, couldn't hear anything.
One day, when things were really difficult and painful all over, the body said very spontaneously and very strongly, "I don't care in the least about being dissolved. I am quite ready to live, but this condition I am in is impossible. It cannot go on either live or die, but not this."
From that moment on, it started to be a bit better. And gradually, things were sorted out and classified.
I took down a few notes, which aren't worth much, but I think they can be useful.
"For several hours, the landscapes
were wonderful, of a perfect harmony.
For a long time, too, visions
of the inside of immense temples
and of living godheads.
Each thing has a precise reason
and a purpose to express nonmental
states of consciousness.
The whole thing was immense and very diverse,
covering the entire visual field
and expressing states of consciousness of the body.
Many, many building sites,
huge cities in the process of being built."
Yes, the future world being built. I couldn't hear, couldn't see, couldn't speak. I lived within all the time, night and day.
This is the note where it began:
"The vital and the mind sent packing
so the physical may really be left to its
On its own. Totally on its own!
Then I realized the extent to which the vital and the mind help us to see, hear, and speak. I could see barely enough to move about, and it lacked precision. I heard still less than before, which means, very little indeed. And that went on night and day.
One night, I was in a lot of pain and I couldn't sleep. I remained concentrated and the night went by in what seemed to be a few minutes. While at other times, on other days, I was concentrated, and I would ask for the time: Only five minutes had gone by. Everything was in a completely different order.
And one night, this is what happened:
"Night of the August 26, 1968: Powerful
and prolonged penetration of the supramental
forces into the body, everywhere at once."
Yes, penetration into the body. I had felt penetrations of currents several times before, but that night I suddenly felt as if there were nothing but a supramental atmosphere. And my body was in it. It was pressing to penetrate the body from everywhere at once. It wasn't a current flowing in, but an atmosphere penetrating from everywhere.
It lasted at least four or five hours.
Only one part was barely penetrated, from the throat to the top of the head. That part seemed gray and dull, as if less permeated than the rest of the body. It was the least receptive because it is the most mentalized part of the body. It's the part most in need of transformation. The mind is what blocks the way.
But all the rest without exception was flooded.
I had never, ever seen anything like that before!
It lasted for hours. Perfectly consciously.
While it was there, I was conscious: "Oh, that's why! That's what You want from me, Lord! That's what You want."
At that moment, I had a feeling that something was going to happen.
I was hoping it would come back last night, but it didn't.
There was nothing left but That. And this body was soaking it like a sponge.
It came in response to what the body had said two or three days earlier: that it was quite ready to be dissolved or to go on living in any circumstances, but not in this condition, not in this state of decomposition. For a few minutes, the body had lost patience. A few moments later, it realized it had simply refused to accept a more total experience. It didn't have the necessary courage or endurance or patience or faith to accept a more total experience.
There was no response for two days, until that Flood came in.
The mind and the vital had been removed because they have been instruments to knead matter, as it were: the vital through sensations and the mind through thoughts. But they now appear to me as transitory instruments, which will be replaced by other states of consciousness. They are a phase in the universal development and they will fall off as instruments that have outlived their purpose.
And so I concretely experienced matter, kneaded by the vital and the mind, but without the vital and without the mind.
It is something else altogether!
I believe I lived the most wonderful hours one can live on earth.
Recently, the physical consciousness in this body was overcome with such a feeling of pity! It wasn't exactly "pity," but more like a very intimate and very tender sense of compassion toward the human physical condition.
It took hold of me in massive proportions! There was nothing else in the consciousness, and if I hadn't controlled myself I would have started to weep!
That has been the dominant note of these last few days.
Underneath, in the depths, there was the perception of the divine Compassion, the perception of the way in which this is seen and felt by the Divine.
That was wonderful.
But it's really a miserable condition.
Oh, it has nothing to do with vital or mental difficulties! The body isn't conscious of that and not interested in that: When people talk about their vital or mental difficulties, it finds it quite childish.
What is awful is the misery this body lives in.
For a very long time, for years, the body's spontaneous attitude has been: "It's my inability, my ignorance, my helplessness, my stupidity that bring about my misery." It considers itself to be solely responsible for all its difficulties.
But then, there's this contradiction: "Why, but why do You want things to be this way? Why?"
I spend almost entire days and nights in silence, observing. And there are dozens of experiences every day showing me that it's the identification or union with other bodies that makes one feel this or that person's misery. It's a fact. And it's not felt as the misery from another person's body; it's felt as one's own misery. So one isn't complaining about one's own misery, for everything is one's own misery.
This isn't an egoistic complaint.
There is a very clear and spontaneous perception that it's simply impossible to separate a small part from the whole and make something harmonious out of that part when the whole isn't harmonious.
But why? Why? Why? I can't understand.
When the body felt separate from others (a very long time ago), and especially separate from the Divine, then it made sense. But now that everything is truly felt as the Divine, how can that fail to bring about Harmony? When one experiences identity on the vital or mental level, one can experience Bliss as well. There is the experience of identity in the body, but no Bliss.
This identity isn't the result of an effort or a will; it's a spontaneous fact. But it hasn't resulted in any physical harmony for the body.
Now and then, for a few seconds, there is a clear perception of the true Identity, which is perfect Harmony, and then all disorders cease to exist but they still exist materially!
My teeth are all loose in my mouth, and logically this should be very painful. But it's not. I believe this is so because of a Presence. But it doesn't get cured! It's incurable.
This physical is truly a mystery.
I understand why people have said, "It must be abolished. It's a falsehood." That's not true. It's not a falsehood, but . . . what is it? To call it a "distortion" doesn't mean anything, either.
Yet the power to relieve pain, far from being diminished, has increased. When I am told that someone is ill, at least ninety-nine times in a hundred, I have already experienced the same thing. I have already experienced it as part of my physical being, an immense physical being without a precise form.
Is it the precision and separateness of the physical reality that prevent the Harmony from settling in? Is it because we are really separate?
But what would a world that's not really separate look like? This is a serious question indeed: If for the world to exist as it is, it has to be really separate, and if being really separate is the cause of all misery, then . . .
And yet I know I know that the giving-up, the disappearance of this world is not the solution. But what is?
This is the only world where division is not the result of a state of consciousness, but a fact. Everywhere else, it's the result of a state of consciousness: If the consciousness changes, the state changes. But not here.
And yet this division is a falsehood.
One can conceive of a considerable improvement with the establishment of the true Consciousness, because there are concrete experiences (still quite fleeting) of a material harmonization, which in itself looks very much like a miracle. Establishing the True Consciousness along with the Harmony it brings would make a considerable difference probably enough of a difference for a harmonious and progressive state to settle in harmony instead of misery.
This may be the supreme miracle the Divine is trying to achieve: separation an existing fact together with the state of consciousness of Oneness.
The existing state is hell, really. It's only thanks to that other Possibility that it isn't complete hell. It's because behind this hell, there is that Possibility, which is real, concrete, tangible, livable otherwise it's infernal.
The impression is that all the states of being have been whipped together like a mayonnaise, so the "horrible thing" is bearable because everything else is mixed in with it. But if one starts separating . . . Oh!
It's obvious that if it weren't unbearable, it would never change. It really makes one feel like running away which is impossible. It's foolish to think one can get out of it.
It's only postponing the issue.
A couple of days ago, someone said to me, "I am right in the physical consciousness. I can't meditate and the Divine has become something extremely far away."
Instantly, while he was speaking, the whole room filled up with the divine Presence. "Oh," I told this person, "not far away at all right here!" And just then, the whole atmosphere, the very air seemed to change into the divine Presence. Everything was touched by it, permeated with it, but above all there was a dazzling Light, a massive Peace, a Power, and such Sweetness!
One felt it could melt a rock.
And it hasn't left.
It came just like that, and it's still there.
The whole night was spent like that. And even now, I just have to concentrate for a second, and it's there.
It's the body's experience, a physical, material sensation.
There's nothing but That. Everything else feels shriveled up, like dried-up bark. One gets the impression that things have become superficially hard and dry, and that's why they don't feel Him. Because otherwise there's nothing but That: We can't breathe without breathing Him; if we move, it's within Him that we move; everything, the whole universe is within Him, even materially.
I am trying to find a cure for the "drying up."
And then "It" also says things. I asked Him, "Why do people always seek You up above?" And with the most extraordinary humor, "It" replied, "Because they want me to be far removed from their consciousness!"
Above all, there was: No new religion! No dogmas. No fixed teaching. Avoid at any cost turning this into a new religion. Because the moment it is formulated in an elegant way, it would be all over.
We've made stupendous efforts to separate ourselves and we've succeeded! But only in our consciousness, not in actuality. In actuality, there's nothing but That. What we know, see, and touch is as if bathed, immersed within That. Our sense of separateness stems from our minds.
Perhaps the experience came because, for several days, I had been extremely concentrated to find, not exactly the why or the how, but the actual fact, the reality of separateness, that which makes everything appears so stupid and ugly.
I was assailed by all sorts of memories of past experiences, memories we might call antidivine, when this body had felt negative or repulsive things. It went on for two whole days, to a point where the body was on the verge of despair.
At one point, as I was in the awareness of all the suffering and horror of physical life, something came that could be translated by: "Aren't you afraid of going insane?" Whereupon the body spontaneously replied, "We are all insane. We can't get any more insane than we are!"
Things instantly calmed down.
Then that experience came, and it hasn't left.
Usually, experiences come and then withdraw but this hasn't budged. It's here right now.
So the body is trying to be fluid, to melt.
Not quite successfully, obviously! But its consciousness knows.
And it is having external effects. Some people have felt suddenly relieved; several have been completely cured. And when something goes wrong in the body, it doesn't need to ask; the problem gets straightened out naturally.
The body doesn't even feel the need to stop its activities and to remain concentrated in its experience. It's just floating . . . floating in a luminous immensity. The immensity isn't only outside, but inside.
This appearance of separateness only has a reality in the distortion of the Consciousness in something that happened in the Consciousness, which I don't understand.
Sometimes one wonders if the Lord hasn't been putting on an act for Himself!
It's difficult to express it in words.
I've spent days living through all the horrors of the creation, which brought about that experience whereupon all the horrors vanished. It wasn't moral things at all; it was mostly physical suffering an unceasing physical suffering, night and day.
And suddenly, instead of being in that state of consciousness, one is in the state of consciousness of this exclusive divine Presence . . . and the pain is gone! And if one stays long enough in the true consciousness, the appearance, what we call the physical "fact" itself disappears.
I feel I have come upon the central experience.
But it's only a small beginning.
One would have the certitude of having come upon the supreme Secret only if the physical were transformed. But would there be first one body to express this Consciousness? Or must everything be transformed? I don't know.
It would happen if the play of separateness came to an end. That would be the solution to the transformation a phenomenon of consciousness.
On the other hand, the fact that a part and parcel of this terrestrial realm has become conscious gives the impression that something has "happened." This body is just the same as all the rest of the earth, but for some reason or other it happens to have become aware of the other way. This should normally be expressed in the earth consciousness as a "coming," a "descent," or a "beginning." But is it a beginning? There's nothing but the Lord nothing else exists. Everything takes place within Him. And we are grains of sand . . . in this Infinity.
Yet we are the Lord, with the ability of being conscious of the Lord's consciousness.
In this body, the consciousness that we are within the Lord is right here, in the middle of the chest.
The body has a child-like simplicity.
This morning it was assailed with things expressing violence, hatred, and it said so spontaneously to the Lord, with child-like candor and simplicity, "Why do You bear all that in Yourself?"
There was a sort of world-embracing vision of all the horrors constantly committed everywhere.
But the Answer is always the same: "In my Consciousness, things are different." Or, "In my Consciousness, things have a different appearance."
And there was this insistence: "Work to have the true consciousness." The true consciousness that encompasses everything.
The body understood. It clearly understood why division is necessary for a while, for the growth of the being. It understood why the horror was necessary; why there was a time when the manifested world needed to appear outside and separate from the Lord.
One must possess that immutable Peace and be as vast as the universe to be able to bear the idea that everything is the supreme Lord.
Up until now, it needed to feel that certain movements lead to the Lord, while other movements lead away from the Lord a choice was necessary.
The body has understood that it is having this experience only now because it is sufficiently conscious and surrendered. Put simply, it has become capable and ready to bear the idea that everything is the Lord, that there is nothing but the Lord.
It is doing its tapasya to be able to bear that idea without admitting or accepting any movement of degradation or cruelty. In other words, it has the nascent impression that things are not what they seem.
But the mind cannot understand. The mind can speculate on anything, but this is something else altogether.
Why is the world like this? Why all these horrors?
The body isn't capable of knowing yet.
But it is constantly brought back to this experience that when we are turned, as it were, toward the Divine things work out miraculously; whereas a slight movement toward the other side is enough for everything to be disgusting and grating. A tiny shift from a trusting receptivity toward the ordinary consciousness is enough to tip things from the miraculous to the dreadful, or vice versa. And this applies to everything, important and unimportant alike.
It has reached the point where the body is astounded that one can live the ordinary life in the ordinary consciousness and be content! It finds that appalling. To live in chaos, ugliness, wickedness, selfishness, violence not to mention cruelty and all the possible horrors and to find it all perfectly normal and natural!
That's when the body says to itself, "It must have been necessary as a step in evolution. It's an effect of Grace, so there's nothing to say, only to admire."
But there is absolutely no doubt that if the world the creation was as it appears to the body-consciousness, it would only deserve to disappear. That's the explanation and justification for all the nihilistic religions and philosophies. It takes a very unconscious insensitivity to be able to live happy and contented in this horror that is the world.
Yet all this is the Lord, and is within the Lord.
In other words, it isn't as we see it.
Left to itself, this body has a sort of a dramatic inclination.
It feels it is going through one catastrophe after another which it then proceeds to change into a realization through its faith.
It's an absurd situation.
It remains in the troubled condition for a while, and when it's sufficiently tired of that stupid activity, it prays with the greatest intensity for the "catastrophe" to stop! Instantly, the condition turns around and the body enters the contemplation of a wonderful pervading Presence.
It takes no time at all and requires no preparation. Things simply tip from one side to the other. That wonderful Consciousness comes and makes everything disappear as something with no consistency, no reality.
It's the factual demonstration of the body's stupidity when left to itself, a demonstration that this is not happening as an imagination, but as a fact a demonstration of the Power at work for all this vain dream of life as it is to be turned into a marvel, simply through that inversion of consciousness.
The experience is repeated in every detail, every realm. It's like a sudden inversion: instead of seeing ugliness, falsehood, horror and suffering, the body suddenly lives in bliss.
Yet nothing has changed, except the consciousness.
The question that remains for the future is how this experience is going to affect matter in general.
For the body, it's perfectly obvious, because for an hour or two it was very miserable and in pain, and suddenly it's over. Apparently the body has remained the same, but instead of feeling an inner disorder, it feels a great peace and tranquillity.
But that's for one body. How are the others affected?
In the moral realm of attitude, character, psychological reactions, there are very visible results. Sometimes, even in the physical realm, a difficulty suddenly disappears, not unlike what happened when Sri Aurobindo used to remove a pain. But it's not constant, not general. It only comes to show that things can be like that.
I might put it this way: the body feels as if shut inside a box, through which it can see and have an action (still limited) but it is through something that's still there and which must disappear. That "something" gives a sense of imprisonment. How is it to disappear? I don't know.
It's all about the relation between the consciousness in one body and the consciousness of the whole, and the extent of the dependence or the independence between the two. In other words, how far can one body be transformed in its consciousness (and hence, in its appearance) without the whole being transformed? And to what extent is the transformation of the whole necessary to the transformation of the one body? That remains to be discovered.